The EFT Phenomenon

Distractions

2008-03-18T17:47:00.002Z

OK. My last post was in January and we're now into March. This does rather suggest that I've been procrastinating again.

The thing is that I find I get very heavily involved with all sorts of things which take up my time. Some are things I need to do but most are things I want to do. Maybe this is a common factor with procrastinators. It's not that I don't get around to doing anything but rather that I want to do too many things. Since my last post, I've made a terracotta udu, put my illustration website together (and produced a number of new illustrations specifically for showcasing on it. This has taken up the lion's share of my time) and renewed my interest in playing guitar so I've been active and, to some degree, productive.

This, I think, is the thing with procrastination. It's very easy to be far too busy with distractions to do the things you have to do. As a procrastinator, I am rarely idle. Sitting down and watching TV is something I tend to do only if there's something I really want to watch on (even then, I get impatient if the programme's too long and get on with something else). Consequently, it would be easy for me to deny that I'm a procrastinator.

Have I been working on my coursework (an obligatory aspect of my job)? Er.... no. I've been far too busy.
Have I fixed that towel rail in the bathroom? It's on the list for tomorrow... honest!
Have I dealt with the various financial issues that are creeping towards crisis point by default? Not yet (always sounds better than plain "no" as it suggests one is getting there, which, of course, I'm not).
Have I even finished that bloody painting? Hmmm! OK. This is getting uncomfortable now so I think I'll change the subject.

Even now, there are things that I should be doing instead of writing this post. So, although writing to my blog is something I neglect as a procrastinator, it's also a distraction that I choose in favour of something more important. An interesting point. Maybe I could identify tasks that I tend to neglect as distractions. This has only just occurred to me so I can't say anything about the viability of this approach.

I haven't been tapping 'though God Knows I have issues to tap on. It's just that there are always things I'd rather be doing. One possible barrier is that tapping helps to focus on the things that need to be addressed. The fact that they need to be addressed is symptomatic of my reluctance to focus on them so tapping becomes one of the many things that I'm "far too busy" to find time for.

Catch 22 situation? Only if I let it be so. Will I let it be so? Probably, but watch this space.

Sorting wild claims from reality

2008-01-16T17:45:00.000Z

Well, it has certainly been a while since my last entry. Readers may be forgiven for thinking that I may have succumbed to a fatal tapping incident; but no. Life simply took over my activities. There you have it! It’s not my fault; it’s Life’s fault. I resolve myself of all responsibility. I didn’t burn the cake..... the cake just burned.

You’re not going to let me get away with that, are you? I thought not. OK. I’ve let things go a bit. Actually, I may have continued to let things go a bit had I not been contacted by a reader with encouraging comments that served as a gentle kick up the arse (we Brits say “arse” but it means exactly the same as “ass” except –– call me biased –– but I think it has more charm). Thank you, Lori (Lori Barnett, an holistic therapist and EFT practitioner from California. Check her website out at: http://soul-escape.biz but not yet as I haven’t finished wri.... NO! COME BACK!! Oh well. On the off-chance that there’s still somebody there, I’ll carry on).

One thing I noticed about Lori’s site is that it is mercifully devoid of the hard-sell hype that often accompanies self improvement techniques. This brings me rather neatly to the subject of this entry and one of the problems I have not so much with the Law of Attraction and EFT as such but the way in which these ideas are generally expressed.

Many of the ideas expressed are based on sound principles but are then ‘marketed’ in the same way that a traveling medicine show would market a ‘miracle cure’ for baldness that probably doesn’t work. The substance is sound but it is packaged as utter tosh. This is a pity as many people who would otherwise benefit are alienated by the hype.

I’ll discuss it in detail here not just to grouch (although I am not adverse to grouching for its own sake) but to point out to the skeptical that just because something is dressed up as dross, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is. Perhaps even someone about to launch a website on self-help techniques may take note. Who knows? I’ve listed below some of the marketing approaches that put my teeth on edge (we Brits are known for our edgy teeth):

1. The Big Secret that ‘they’ (whoever ‘they’ may be) don’t want you to know about. The word “secret” implies something that has been deliberately withheld. Something that is not widely known is not necessarily a secret. The atomic weight of molybdenum is not widely known but, as far as I know, it is not classified information. No one is taking steps to ensure you don’t find out. People do seem to have a fascination for secrets and conspiracies and I think this is regarded as a ‘marketing hook’. However, if EFT and the Law of Attraction are secrets, they are the worst-kept secrets in the history of subterfuge. It’s hard to move through cyberspace without tripping over an EFT site or a LoA site. Dressing these up as some kind of secret and particularly implying that there are people (usually the rich and successful) that have a vested interest in keeping this information out of the public domain serves only to make the whole thing look like a scam.

2. Self-improvement = acquisition of untold material wealth. Whereas I fully accept that increasing one’s income could help to improve things, it’s not necessarily the goal that everyone is seeking and is certainly not the solution to all problems. Rich and successful people may need help in addressing issues too and there is considerable evidence that emotional problems are as rife among the rich and successful as they are among those of us who lead more modest lifestyles (if not more so if the celebrity culture is anything to go by). If the Ultimate Goal is acquiring what the rich and successful already have, where do they turn for help? The Law of Attraction is not just about attracting material wealth. It is fundamentally a solipsistic concept that we each create our own experience incuding the elements that are seemingly beyond our control. Consequently, we can influence any event that occurs within our experience to positive effect. It is a complex and very sophisticated concept and to imply that it is all about “getting that car” or “getting that lifestyle” or even, as Mohammed Latiff suggests, getting that “swimming pool full of money” (http://ultimatesecretsofsuccess.com) simply cheapens what is actually a sound philosophy. Incidently, if you do happen to find that you can ‘manifest’ untold wealth and acquire considerable sums of money, please (and I can’t emphasise this enough), please do not keep it in the swimming pool!

3. Exaggerated claims. It may well be that EFT can cure cancer and, if this is proved to be true, it could represent a phenomenal breakthrough. But such incidents are extremely rare and when it does occur, there is no hard, scientific evidence that EFT was solely responsible. Claims that it can cure incurable illnesses simply press the skeptic button. EFT helps with many conditions and I have no doubt that it also helps with potentially incurable illnesses such as cancer. Any anecdotal evidence that EFT or any form of therapy can have results verging on the miraculous should be discussed rationally and with an open mind. It’s interesting that those of us who are prepared to consider the possibility that things may not be as they seem or as they are claimed to be are often accused of being ‘closed minded’. Accepting claims without question or debate is as much the product of a closed mind as denying claims without looking into them. To be open minded is to accept and consider all possibilities; not just the one.

4. The endless testimonials. There’s nothing wrong with testemonials as such and they can help people to make a considered judgment, particularly if they can be substantiated. But we know that negative testimonials will never be included even if they outnumber the positive ones so they have limited value in this respect. We also know that it is possible to make up testimonials or even pay others to endorse our product or services. One or two positive testimonials can enhance confidence; twenty five or thirty positive testimonials can seem like driving the point a little too hard and often have the opposite effect by raising suspicions that maybe this is just another scam. This is possibly a cultural thing as testimonials are very much a part of American marketing. The British tend to be less convinced by them and too much emphasis on testimonials are a put-off. A perfect example of the cultural difference in British and American marketing can be seen in the Marmite ads that are hugely successful in the UK but failed to take off in the US. The ‘love it or hate it’ campaign takes on board the fact that there are people who find the taste of Marmite disgusting and no amount of advertising is going to bring them on side. On the other hand, many people find Marmite delicious and are already regular consumers so targeting those would be preaching to the converted. The ads are aimed at those who have yet to try it. Remember that the objective of advertising is not just to convince consumers of the product’s qualities; it is also to fix the brand firmly in the mind. Marmite is particularly successful in this respect by breaking the two Golden Rules of advertising. (A) the ads acknowledge that some people don’t like the product and (B) feature only people who don’t like the product rather than those who do. The ads are funny and very memorable because they stand out from the crowd. Consequently, sales shot up. People who had never tried it just had to check it out. Those who loved it became regular consumers and even those who hate it bought at least one jar to try it out. In the US, the manufacturers could not find an advertising company willing to take the campaign on. This difference between the British and the American psyche is the reason that so many of us find the American ‘hard-sell’ approach (or, as we call it: ‘over-egged’) a little spiky for our pallets.

There. I’m glad I got that off my chest. But, dammit! I’m now in full ‘grouch’ mode. I’m going to have to tap on this to restore my Alpha rhythms but, before I do, I just want to make one more point –– albeit a little off-topic: Why do shirt manufacturers go to the bother of using soft, comfortable fabrics to make the actual shirt and then decide to make the label out of something that feels like fibreglass stitched in with wire and conclude that the best place to put it is in the back of the neck where it’s most likely to cause irritation???? There. I’ll be OK now.

Even though I have this compelling urge to object to absolutely everything, I completely accept and love myself exactly as I am.... even the parts of me that get right up my nose... (still needs some work.... I’ll get back to you in the next paragraph.......) Even though... (God! I’m going to have to change this bloody shirt!)...................

OK. Fifteen rounds of tapping, a fresh shirt (and an old one with the collar ripped off) later and I think I’m ready to look benignly upon the world again. I should temper the comments above by adding that I am aware that not all sites, books, DVDs etc. follow the hard-sell marketing model identified above. Gary Craig’s website does not claim that EFT will bring untold wealth although the video, in my view, does not present a balanced argument. For example: Hank Hadley suffered from MS and is now free of the disease. I don’t doubt that Hank himself considers this to be wholly attributable to EFT –– which might indeed be the case.

However, although comparatively rare, there are many cases in which people have recovered from seemingly incurable and degenerative conditions and recoveries are often attributed to various elements ranging from positive thinking to numerous therapeutic approaches. One thing they all tend to have in common is the strength and determination of the individuals who have recovered against all odds.

The medical profession has always held that the most powerful aid to recovery is a positive attitude and the determination to get well. I don’t doubt that EFT was a powerful contributing factor in Hank’s recovery but I wonder if he is truly giving himself the credit he deserves. It doesn’t take an expert to realise that Hank aint gonna hand his wallet over to a mugger. He’s clearly the kind of man who, when he encounters a ravine, says “How do I get across?” not “Let’s turn back”. As well as the EFT that undoubtedly helped him, his strength of character should also be taken into consideration.

Also, I have expressed concerns over the claims made by Dr. Patricia Felici regarding the Live Blood Cell Analysis both here on the blog and on the forums on Gary Craig’s site (see “Questionable claims on the EFT video” http://eftcommunity.emofree.com/forums/t/1299.aspx ). Here my concern was that Dr. Felici appeared to be claiming that the blood cells “clump together” when a person has “some health issues”. Such clumping of blood cells would be symptomatic of very specific and extremely serious conditions and “some health issues” struck me as a drastic understatement for a condition that would be life-threatening. What wasn’t made clear on the video and which Dr. Felici pointed out in the thread on the forum was that this is how blood behaves on the slide after the sample is taken, not while still in circulation in the body. I hope she has no objection to me reproducing her comment below:

“As to the efficacy of whether or not characteristics of a person's blood can be seen under a darkfield microscope and that what is seen has a standard basis of repeatability has been proven time and time again. What the writer, Ron Tocknell, does understand is that conditions of blood on a slide are not the same as the conditions of blood inside a person's body. I completely agree that clumping of red blood cells within a person’s body would present a serious if not life-threatening situation. However, the writer then leaps to the conclusion that the conditions of the blood seen in the slide is then completely inaccurate. When in fact, this may not at all be inaccurate. The clumping of red blood cells on a slide can be an indication of many health issues. A properly trained practitioner will know what conditions apply and do not apply to a sample. To make the assumption that because something may have a different appearance, that the conditions shown should be completely discounted, is a bit narrow in view and demonstrates a lack of understanding of the application of the technology. The writer's general statements are true concerning that the conditions of a sample are different inside and outside of the person's body. His comments however, are not applicable to a properly taken and properly read liveblood sample. I have found that prior to making blanket statements, or discounting something summarily, it is better to understand it well first. It is not what we know that is important, it is what we don't know and what we don't know that we don't know that is important. The key to the scope of Liveblood Cell Analysis is complete understanding of the technology from the sample being collected properly to the slide being read properly. A properly trained professional follows a solid protocol designed to give a properly arrived at qualitative conclusions, within the scope of the technologies usefulness. When done correctly, the tool is extremely accurate and gives good information.

Dr Patricia Felici, Clinical Nutritionist and Doctor of Alternative Medicine.”

I certainly have to hold my hand up to the fact that I jumped to only partially informed conclusions and would certainly agree with her statement that: “It is not what we know that is important, it is what we don't know and what we don't know that we don't know that is important” (although I had to read it a couple of times and think about this before I was sure that I’d got the gist). However, some concerns remain. Blood begins to congeal as soon as it is taken out of the circulatory system and, although it would be wrong to disregard the fact that she is a trained professional and that samples were taken under controlled conditions (as I admit I had done when initially expressing my concerns and for which I apologise), there is clearly scope for error here even taking account of Dr. Felici’s professionalism and the conditions under which samples were taken. None of this is made clear in the video which is a little misleading.

I also pointed out that the effectiveness of Live Blood Cell Analysis as a diagnostic tool is widely disputed, which it is. However, this should not be taken as a credible argument against the procedure considering that the effectiveness of many holistic and alternative therapies are also widely disputed despite a proven track record of success rates that the pharmaceutical industry can only dream of. As much as I hold that the claims made on the video were misleading, so too, were the comments I made in jumping to the conclusions I did. I hope this goes some way to redressing the balance.

The difference between balanced information and hype is that balanced information includes the grey areas and elements that may question the view being put forward whereas hype simply disregards them. In conclusion, I feel there is clearly a problem with the way in which many self-help techniques, therapies and philosophies are presented. Accentuating the positive and eliminating (or disregarding) the negative may make a good subject for a song but, in reality, I’m afraid we do have to mess with Mr. In Between in order to not only present a balanced view but also to help distinguish between the profound and the absurd.

Physical and emotional responses

2007-11-25T21:32:00.000Z

Last night was an interesting experience. I've been working some gruelling shifts and an issue has cropped up at work which has been causing me some concern. I won't go into details as this might compromise confidentialities and besides, it would be irrelevant. However, I had been nursing my concerns when a team-leader had made a decision that had not been thoroughly thought through, resulting in a near-miss incident. I am forever making ill-conceived decisions but I tend to be very intolerant when others do the same. I reacted with disproportionate anger.

This was clearly an example of my residual anger breaching the 'flood defenses'.

Last night I was itching again and tapped on the itch (but not the specific area of my anatomy that was itching...... I've learned that lesson). I think it was four, maybe five rounds before I got rid of the itch. Anne was tapping with me.

"Right." says Anne "I think we better address the nitty-gritty now, don't you?" She was referring to the anger and she was right. I was assuming the root cause of my anger was the episode with Gloucester Social Services. The department had put someone in a serious situation, had cost me my job, my house (as a result of losing my job) and, for a period during the six months I was suspended, a degree of my sanity. It seemed enough for that to be the root cause.

Half way through the second round, it occurred to me that the individuals who had cobbled together the 'kangaroo-court' that saw me silenced and dismissed were just human beings protecting their interests. I quickly realised that I didn't want to confront them and tell them what I thought. I wouldn't invite them to spend Christmas with me but I didn't particularly want to see heads roll. I didn't need to confront them with the truth of the matter because they knew the truth of the matter. It occurred to me that I had resolved this anger. Surely tapping couldn't work that fast, could it?

Well, no. Or rather, I don't know but it hadn't worked that fast on this occasion. I was simply barking up the wrong tree.

My residual anger was well established at the time of the incident with Social Services; hence me blowing my top, phoning the Director of Social Services and telling him that, if anything should happen to the patient or a member of the public as a result of their incompetence, I'd be discussing the situation with the press. I was effectively wrecking my career in a temper tantrum. There were a number of rational approaches I could have taken to address the issue effectively and appropriately. But I'd chosen to throw the baby out with the bath-water.

As always with such issues, the root causes go way back. What do I first recall being angry about? I was pretty angry as a child and I think I need to lay down some of the background here.

My mother had very fixed ideas of how things should be and was very intolerant of any deviations from her rather narrow concepts. She had married a man she could control (my father was possibly the least assertive man I ever knew) and had decided early on that one should have two children: one boy and one girl. Her firstborn (a boy) died of diptheria in infancy. My brother was born a few years later so she had her son. I was born seven years later.

My earliest recollection of feeling inadequate was being told by my mother that she had "prayed to God for two children: a little boy and a little girl." then, with a forced and exaggerated expression of affected joy, she added ".... and the Good Lord sent me two lovely boys."

She had a way of delivering a smack-in-the-face in such a way that she could never be accused of it. She was outwardly telling me how lucky she was to have her "two lovely boys" but the subliminal message was that I had somehow fucked up her plans.

This kind of put-down was a recurring feature of my childhood. If I was hit or bullied by other children, she would outwardly sypathise and comfort me with such assurances that they [the bullies] should have known that I can't stand up for myself and they shouldn't pick on weaker children. If I stood up for myself, she would point out that violence is never a solution to anything and I should have walked away. If I walked away, she would suggest that they'll never leave me alone unless I stand up for myself. I got the overall message early on: if I did it, it was wrong.

I've been drawing for as long as I can remember. When my mother first noticed I had a talent for it, she decided to 'nurture' this talent by teaching me to draw (despite the fact that she didn't possess this ability herself). She went through a phase of telling me (not showing me of course) how a drawing should be constructed and, needless to say, none of my attempts achieved the standards she was trying to set. She eventually gave up declaring that I "wouldn't be told" and that I "never listen".

How come I didn't grow up to be a transvestite with an inferiority complex I'll never know. Something in my genetic makeup made me respond with anger. I think maybe I inherited her intrinsic concept of the self always being right and any disagreement must be wrong. I didn't try to fulfill her impossible ideals, not because I didn't feel I was up to it but because I felt I was right and she was wrong. Consequently, we were always at loggerheads.

Also my father was a valuable, though inverse role-model. He was an example of what happens when one tries to keep the peace and give in to her. Everything he did was wrong in her eyes and so he embraced that identity: "Oh well, you know me. I bugger everything up". I didn't want to live like that. Surrender was Dad's coping strategy, anger was mine.

Even up until her death, I could never talk to my mother about anything that moved me or interested me. She would always change the subject by saying: "Let's talk about something nice" as if I'd been talking about sado-masochism or vivisection. Usually, I'd be talking about music or art or how I feel about something or other.

You might get the impression that I detested my mother but I didn't. There were many, many things I detested about her but I still loved her. Such is the unfathomable complexity of emotion. I had long ago stopped wanting to please her but I had never actively wanted to displease her. From adolescence onward, I simply went my way in life. I kept her informed about what I was doing or planning but didn't seek her approval or pay any mind to her inevitable disapproval.

Consequently, the anger went underground. It was pointless ever trying to confront my mother as she was unable to take on board the possibility that she may have been wrong about some things. I would never get my 'day-in-court' in that respect so I just carried on allowing her to be as she was while I continued to be as I was.

Whereas anger was initially my coping strategy for combating the destructive elements of my mother's nature, humour has always been my coping strategy for dealing with the anger. I think, without either of these and definitely without both, I would have been a mess.

As it is, I have been extremely lucky to have effective coping strategies that work to keep things in perspective. However, I do need to deal with this anger.

I know I have inherited certain negative traits from my mother such as my intolerance of anything that disagrees with my own views. However, I try to balance this with reason (not always successfully). I grew up learning to cope with always being wrong so, when I realise that I am wrong, it's no big deal. However, it can take an awful lot of insisting that I'm right before I arrive at this conclusion.

This could be the old procrastination rearing its head (or rather, planning to rear its head as soon as the time is right) again but I think I need to put aside the time to address this. It could raise emotions that I'm going to need time to work through.

Positive result

2007-11-06T19:02:00.000Z

I'm not sure about how much of this I want to share online but, having given it much thought, I've decided to discuss it in full.

For a number of years now I've had various areas of intense itching which includes a small outbreak of eczema under my left arm. Itching from this can be quite intense and I know I shouldn't scratch but ......ooooooooooh! Such bliss! If there is a pay-off to itching, it's the scratching; the one thing you shouldn't do. Such is life.

Another area of fairly intense itching is around my anus (OK. You're beginning to understand my reticence now..... it gets worse). This is not as bad as it was a few years back. I went to the doctor and described my symptoms (ie; I got an itchy bum, Doc). He nodded sagely and promptly "diagnosed" pruritis ani. Well, I'm not an expert on medical matters but I do have nodding acquaintance with Latin. "Er.... thank you" I replied "But isn't that just my symptoms in Latin?" (pruritis = itching, ani = bum). "It's what your condition is called" he countered. Terrific. I went to a doctor to find out that my itchy bum was called Itchy Bum in Latin as well. Maybe I should have gone to a linguist and found out what it was called in Greek, German, Swahili and Esperanto.

The cream he prescribed helped to some degree but it didn't address the root of the problem and I'm pretty sure I know what that is. In 1995, I lost my job with Gloucester Social Services as a result of trying to address serious failings on the department's side that resulted in a very vulnerable person being put seriously at risk. To be honest, it was threatening to take the issue to the press that clinched it but the result was that Old Ron was ejected from the department and the patient in question remained at risk. Needless to say, I was extremely angry about that. I was suspended for six months before I was finally spat out and, during this time, I developed my itchy bum. I have been scritching at various parts of my anatomy ever since.

The itch is my residual anger and this is something I clearly need to address. It's not just my bum and my armpit but my testicles are also prone to intense itching (I told you it gets worse).

Scratching one's armpit in public is one thing but people really get uncomfortable around someone who is constantly clawing at his rectum and testicles so I tend to grit my teeth throughout the day and have an orgy of scratching when I get home.

Sunday evening I had a real Jerry (Jerry Lee Lewis as in "Great Balls of Fire"). It was unbearable! Scratching is only blissful until you reach the point at which it is painful to touch. Tap on it I thought to myself and as soon as the thought occurred to me, I began tapping (maybe I'm getting somewhere about my procrastination after all).

Although I have this intense itching in my testicles, I completely accept and love myself exactly as I am........

My balls are really itchy......
My cobblers are on fire.......

And on it went for three, maybe four rounds. My SUDS began at ten and quickly came down to zero. That night, my itching was so intense, I couldn't sleep. My armpit, my bum, my arms, my legs....... I think even my pillow was itching at one point. The one thing that was definitely not itching was my balls. OK. We do need to be specific but maybe it helps to be inclusive in some circumstances. More to the point: what I obviously need to be tapping on is my anger not the itching. The problem is that, over the past 12 years, I've learned to suppress my anger, making a SUDS evaluation rather difficult. When I think about the episode now, I'm not aware of any feelings of anger.

Actually, as I am writing this, it has just occurred to me that I could approach this slightly differently. I was trying to locate my anger while typing the paragraph above and I instinctively visualised myself in a room with those responsible both for the neglect of the patient and the treatment of yours truly. What would I have to say? A foaming diatribe, that's what! That is clearly the hook. The foaming diatribe could be described as a ten and, presumably, passing the time of day with my adversaries and talking about the weather could safely be regarded as a zero.

Now I have things to do so I'm going to have to publish this and get on but more on this later.

First tappings

2007-11-04T02:27:00.000Z

Yes yes! I know! The 24th came and went without tapping. That’s us procrastinators for you. So it’s been a fairly long time since my last entry on 24th (I’d thought at the time that it was the 23rd but, by the time I’d posted it, it was well past midnight) which may not be a long time in blogging terms but longer than the following day as I’d intended.

However, I finally tapped on my inclination to procrastinate. It was quite spontaneous (Well, OK. Spontaneity can take a while with me) ––– that is to say that I hadn’t planned it. In fact, if I had have planned it, it would be on the cards for tomorrow.... then something else would turn up and...... well anyway, it just sort of happened.

I was taking my dog for a walk. It had been an unseasonably pleasant day and even warm enough for me to remove the coat I’d put on more because I’m English than because I was cold. One wears a coat in November in England. Normally the weather ensures this is a wise precaution but the weather was in a particularly unpatriotic mood today.

Fudge (that’s the dog) was happily snuffling around the teasels and chasing imaginary rabbits while real rabbits looked on in confusion. Some even hopped off and returned with other rabbits to enjoy the spectacle. Fudge is a singularly unobservant dog. Throw her a stick and she’ll come back with an old boot but I digress yet again. Maybe something else to add to my ever growing tapping list.

I took the opportunity to sit down and watch Fudge leaping around terrorising the teasels while bemused rabbits looked to me for an explanation. I don’t speak rabbit and even if I did, my dog’s behaviour is none of their damn business. It occurred to me that this would be a good time to begin tapping.

I can’t say it was a particularly enlightening experience but I’m sure this will develop over time....... I hope so anyway. However, focusing on my thoughts brought on that curious condition when you gaze at the whole scene before you without visually focusing on anything. You reach a point when you are seeing everything in equal emphasis which never occurs in the normal course of looking. This tends to confuse the visual cortex which is better suited to homing in on specific details and seeing the rest only in the periphery. This creates a shift in the lighting: the foreground became darker and the evening sky became brighter. I managed about two rounds of tapping when I think I drifted off into some kind of meditative state. Anne insists this was a result of tapping but I’m more inclined to think it was a result of allowing my otherwise fidgety mind to become still for a moment.

I don’t know how long I had remained like this but I thought it had become quite dark and, as soon as I had become aware of this, the lighting shifted back to normal and it was actually lighter than I’d thought. My eyes had simply been on the wrong F-stop, so to speak. When my vision had flipped back to normal, I suddenly became aware of a small insect that caught the low angled light from the setting sun in startling, iridescent brilliance. Everything was so still. I rolled a cigarette and watched as the first cloud of smoke I puffed out –– the wasted puff I immediately eject on lighting a cigarette –– as it drifted slowly across the fields holding its form in the still air.

I’d been reading about the Law of Attraction (or rather, I’d been paying uncharacteristic attention while my wife read it to me. She ought to be in advertising; she really knows how to push a product) and I found myself wondering whether the stillness I was experiencing was attributable to the stillness of my environment or vice versa. It seemed a ridiculous idea but then, why should my mind be less still if it had been windier? Does the wind actually blow my thoughts around? This is an equally ridiculous notion. Perhaps nothing is truly ridiculous...... just misunderstood.

I’d been meaning to ‘phone my brother who has been unwell for some time. It seemed that every time I thought about ‘phoning him, it was either too early in the morning or too late at night. I work unsocial shifts but the truth is that I have had ample opportunities to ring him but had still left it until the days became weeks and suddenly it’s two months since I’d called to see how he was. I phoned him when we got back (he’s fine, thanks) and I can’t honestly say whether this was because I had tapped on my procrastination or simply because it had entered my mind quite early on a Saturday evening when there was no reason not to do so. I had also intended to put up a towel rail in the bathroom which has now been relegated to what has always been my favourite day for doing things –––– mañana.

Well, small steps at a time. I’d finally got around to actually tapping and calling my brother. If I get that towel rail up tomorrow, I’ll really be on a roll!

2007-10-24T15:29:00.000+01:00

Procrastination

2007-10-24T00:34:00.000+01:00

OK. Crunch-time. I have established a time when I will begin tapping. We procrastinators need to be able to set aside a whole day for things like this (preferably a day that is not called “Today”) and I have a day off tomorrow (24/10/07). There! I’ve committed it to print. I can’t get out of it now –– well, not unless I re-edit this page before anybody has a chance to read this courageous, if not foolhardy resolution.

Why do I have to wait until I get a day off? Why can’t I just start tapping right away? These are questions you may well ask. The answer, of course, lies in another question: why do I need to tap? OK. Let’s take a look at that last question. Now is a good time to identify the issues that need to be addressed.

I’ve already pointed out my inclination to procrastinate (and, even if I hadn’t, you’d have figured it out by now anyway). Anne pointed out to me that I seem to have trouble with starting and finishing. Eager to follow up with a positive statement, she added: “But you do middles very well.”

Actually, I can be quite good at starting things as long as it’s something I want to do at that particular moment. Among the things I’m likely to want to do at a particular moment is write a book. Alas, it takes a bit longer than a particular moment to actually complete this task. Consequently, my hard drive is groaning under the weight of unfinished stories. I’ve been reading through them. I get caught up in the story then it grinds to a halt. There are some that aren’t so good, some that are so-so and some that are real page turners. So why are they abandoned and why, when I get the urge to write again, do I start a new story instead of getting on with the last one I started?

Ideas come to me and I have to get the gist of it down so I’m glad I have all these started stories because I’d never be able to remember them if I hadn’t. However, they have to be finished and I have to approach this task with the same level of enthusiasm with which I started them. If it’s a chore to write, it’ll be a chore to read.

I have a painting which has yet to be finished. It has been waiting for me to continue working on it for two years now. Most of the work has been done and all that is now required are a few tweaks and refinements. Interestingly, the painting is about conflict. It’s a picture of two men fighting and a group of onlookers each projecting a different reaction to what is happening: one man is goading the fighters on, one is trying to break up the fight. A woman is trying to distract her child from the scene while another onlooker is passively watching through a window (you'll note that the perspective of this last detail needs a little tweaking) and enjoying the spectacle of both fighters and observers. The two men fighting are identical so it clearly implies that this is an inner conflict. The man is literally fighting with himself. (see unfinished painting below)

In the background you see a piano shop. What isn't visible here is a sign in the shop window reading "If music be the food of love, play on". Not that it's particularly relevant to anything but there may be a shrink reading this and, who knows? Maybe I'll get some free therapy via email.

Dipping my toe in

2007-10-22T12:04:00.000+01:00

EFT. This thing seems to be worming its way into the collective psyche. My wife, Anne came across this in earnest en route in her quest to master the Law of Attraction and in true L. o. A. tradition: she sat at the computer and thought: “What do I do about my self-limiting beliefs?” and Emotional Freedom Technique (which she’d heard of but hadn’t really read up on) popped into her mind –– so she Googled it. This brought her to Silvia Hartman’s website (www.silviahartmann.com). She downloaded “Adventures in EFT” and has been tapping as if she’s checking herself for woodworm ever since. A little alarming at first but one gets used to it.

Since Anne has been doing it, I’ve noticed that quite a lot of people are at it; sitting on buses or wherever tapping away. How come I hadn’t noticed this before? Maybe I did and just assumed they had some kind of weird tic. I think Tappers –– which is almost certainly what those (or we when I get to that point) who practice EFT will come to be called –– have to decide early on whether we’re going to tap in public like courageous breast-feeders or afford it the level of discretion normally reserved for masturbation. Maybe I need to tap on it.

Now I have to admit that my initial reaction was that the whole thing is completely bonkers. Then again, so is a duck-billed platypus. Maybe I just have to come to terms with the undeniable fact that there are things in life that are completely bonkers. It doesn’t mean they don’t exist. My uncle George is completely bonkers but he’s still my uncle George even if he does think he’s Neville Chamberlain.

What is also an undeniable fact is that Anne seems to be benefiting in ways that is now making an old sceptic like me wonder if –– bonkers or not –– there isn’t something in this surreal sort of genuflection. I’m going to have to give in to this and see if it can do anything for my own issues that pose barriers to emotional freedom; not least of which is my inclination toward procrastination. As soon as the time is right, I’m going to start working on that.

Anne says that she feels it was a sort of miracle that she was given the answer as soon as she had asked. I don’t really share that view. I feel a miracle is something that defies explanation and this doesn’t. For as long as I’ve been able to rationalise, I’ve believed that we all have what I call (for want of a better term) seed knowledge of everything. We certainly know exactly who we are and what makes us tick because we have direct access to the data, as it were. But we also have seed knowledge of things we have yet to learn. Learning is a psychological process by which we gain access to knowledge we already have. This would explain why some animals appear to have genetically implanted knowledge of complex tasks from birth such as newly hatched turtles that instinctively head for the ocean. The knowledge is already there. It didn’t have to be learned.

Nature is both abundant and frugally economical. A turtle may lay many thousands of eggs during her 200 year lifetime. This is to ensure at least one or two survive to carry her genes and send them forth in the Eternal Relay of life. On the other hand, it’s not necessary for a bird to have powerful jaws and teeth or a lion wings. This is where Nature is frugal. She sows her seeds abundantly and sparingly cares for her plants. This ensures that the strongest survive and evolution continues on a progressive path. How much knowledge do we need to access in order to ensure we survive to pass on our genes? Then why have brains that can process all the knowledge it stores? The turtle has instinctive knowledge to head for the sea because it’s necessary for survival. There isn’t time for the learning process to unlock the knowledge from its compressed, encrypted form so it has evolved with instant access to this knowledge.

Anne had asked a question about herself and the very process of asking had hooked a clue. “It’s no miracle” I said “We carry within us the answer to everything”. She didn’t ask, if I really believed that, why am I still such a tosspot, which is one of the things I love about her. Anyway, if I really believe that, why am I still such a tosspot?? Why aren’t I doing something about it?

This could be a cop-out for me because it doesn’t require the excruciating, muscle-stretching distortions of yoga or any really uncomfortable disciplines. It requires only that we do something which –– well, come on! Let’s face it –– it does seem a little bit.... well, silly, doesn’t it? However, this does seem like something I could cope with. I can’t get my knees behind my neck and I don’t much fancy trying. Maybe if I could imagine any conceivable disaster that may befall me as a result of not being able to get my knees behind my neck I’d give it a go. As it is, I think I’ll give it a miss if it’s all the same to you. I fully accept that, should the day ever dawn when someone cries: “This is IT, everybody! Knees behind necks!” I’d be well and truly fucked but it’s a risk I’m prepared to take.

Tapping, I can do. Not too hard, mind you. I bruise easily. And there’s always the possible long term risk of Tappers’ RSI. However, notwithstanding this (it has only just occurred to me that “notwithstanding” is just a random compilation of three unrelated words that imply no meaning whatsoever.......... why the hell do we use it?? Anyway, I really wish I’d stop interrupting myself. I’ll put it on my ‘tapping list’. Now, where was I? Oh yeah....), it does have an attractive simplicity. I could do it in an armchair....... by a cosy fire........ with a Southern Comfort at my elbow. Oh yes. I could do that. I might just be a closet tapper for a while...... before I take the plunge and tap on a bus.