Procrastination

OK. Crunch-time. I have established a time when I will begin tapping. We procrastinators need to be able to set aside a whole day for things like this (preferably a day that is not called “Today”) and I have a day off tomorrow (24/10/07). There! I’ve committed it to print. I can’t get out of it now –– well, not unless I re-edit this page before anybody has a chance to read this courageous, if not foolhardy resolution.

Why do I have to wait until I get a day off? Why can’t I just start tapping right away? These are questions you may well ask. The answer, of course, lies in another question: why do I need to tap? OK. Let’s take a look at that last question. Now is a good time to identify the issues that need to be addressed.

I’ve already pointed out my inclination to procrastinate (and, even if I hadn’t, you’d have figured it out by now anyway). Anne pointed out to me that I seem to have trouble with starting and finishing. Eager to follow up with a positive statement, she added: “But you do middles very well.”

Actually, I can be quite good at starting things as long as it’s something I want to do at that particular moment. Among the things I’m likely to want to do at a particular moment is write a book. Alas, it takes a bit longer than a particular moment to actually complete this task. Consequently, my hard drive is groaning under the weight of unfinished stories. I’ve been reading through them. I get caught up in the story then it grinds to a halt. There are some that aren’t so good, some that are so-so and some that are real page turners. So why are they abandoned and why, when I get the urge to write again, do I start a new story instead of getting on with the last one I started?

Ideas come to me and I have to get the gist of it down so I’m glad I have all these started stories because I’d never be able to remember them if I hadn’t. However, they have to be finished and I have to approach this task with the same level of enthusiasm with which I started them. If it’s a chore to write, it’ll be a chore to read.

I have a painting which has yet to be finished. It has been waiting for me to continue working on it for two years now. Most of the work has been done and all that is now required are a few tweaks and refinements. Interestingly, the painting is about conflict. It’s a picture of two men fighting and a group of onlookers each projecting a different reaction to what is happening: one man is goading the fighters on, one is trying to break up the fight. A woman is trying to distract her child from the scene while another onlooker is passively watching through a window (you'll note that the perspective of this last detail needs a little tweaking) and enjoying the spectacle of both fighters and observers. The two men fighting are identical so it clearly implies that this is an inner conflict. The man is literally fighting with himself. (see unfinished painting below)


In the background you see a piano shop. What isn't visible here is a sign in the shop window reading "If music be the food of love, play on". Not that it's particularly relevant to anything but there may be a shrink reading this and, who knows? Maybe I'll get some free therapy via email.